FRIENDSHIP AND REVERENCE
All of us want that we may be liked and loved by the people around us. In other words, we may raise our personality to such a height and fame that even people, not within our limited circle, may come to know about us and begin to admire us.
But there are others also, like the politicians, the athletes, the sportspersons and those in films. All the same, you can also make yourself shine in other activities of life by doings some outstanding feat par excellence. Even many writers have made their names. So, either you do something brave, courageous that may deserve mentioning, or you write about such brave and courageous people who achieved greatness. Whatever you do, you must become so specialized and expert that your name may be remembered because of your actions and deeds. Nowadays women who are very beautiful take part in beauty contests and they are liked and loved by the people at large.
All the same, from the point of view of civilisation, we must be polite and humble as well as tolerant about other peoples' views and opinions. We should not forget the fact that if you care for others, they are likely to care for you. But if we become indifferent towards others' interests, how can you expect that others will look after your interests. Love begets love and hatred begets hatred. Selfless service is the best means of your love to the people and certainly it is bound to be responded.
Some great thinker has said - "Whosoever I meet, he is in some way better than myself. Therefore I take some lesson from him". Having recognised the good qualities in others, you must appreciate it from heart and soul. But never try to flatter, as such a measure will soon be known and your respect is bound to diminish accordingly.
Remember that the most important and sweetest thing for a person is his own name, with which his heart is captivated. Hence never try to be disrespectful to anyone's name. If you can remember peoples' names of your acquaintances correctly and always call them with due respect and reverence, he is bound to feel attracted towards you, and your relations will henceforth become strong and sweet. Moreover, always ask such questions that may be of interest to him and he may feel elation in replying the same. Encourage him to talk about his own self because that gives him pleasure and you become a good listener.
It is a weakness or you may call it inspiration that each one of us want to be important, but only a few try in this direction. You give importance to others by letting others feel so, and in turn you are bound to get the same. One important point is that we may as far as possible try not to indulge in arguments, as such invites bad feeling, though you may be able to defeat the other party because of your strong points, but you are likely to get an adversary or even an enemy only by your behaviour. How can you win friends by hurting the feeling of others? It is only your politeness and humility that may be able to earn your friendship of most of the people.
In case of any error or mistake on our part, we must readily agree and seek others forgiveness, instead of being adamant. Because such a course will earn you respect and reverence - this is a fact which we must realise and always act in a friendly manner. You have to attract and remember one drop of honey attracts more files than a bottle of oil. When you feel that somehow antagonistic feelings are being aroused, it is much better to withdraw with apology if the circumstances demand.
Always try to place yourself in your opponent's shoes and then think as to what you would have done in similar circumstances. Even if you consider that you would not have acted the way he did, you should forgive him in your own generosity and continue your friendship or at least ordinary relations. In case you want to be sweet. You must learn to forgive and forget. But do not excuse yourself on any count under any circumstances for not behaving properly! Generally people act reversibly and herein lies a grave blunder. Greatness consists in breeding sympathy, tolerance and kindness.
In order to arouse enthusiasm, you must appreciate others, thereby encouraging them; do not criticize, as by doing so you will make them your enemies. But be anxious to praise for the merits that they possess. In case we want to make friends, let us greet people with animation and enthusiasm. When somebody calls you on the telephone, use the same psychology, speaking "Hello" in a tone that may speak for you intimating the caller that you are really pleased to talk to him. You must become genuinely interested in other peoples welfare.
In Sanskrit, a poet has written:
According to the learned people and sage - A friend is one who does his best to dissuade his friend from doing any sinful act and always tries to engage him in work that may be in his interests; he expresses amongst the people the best qualities of his friend, never leave him in time of difficulties and helps not only by giving aid but whatever is possible. These are the indictors of a good friend!
How many of us come up to the standard these days, because such as friend should himself be not only honest and truthful, but really man of excellent character. We must never seek friendship for securing our selfish ends, but our motive should be to serve as best as possible, even at the cost of our life.
Muni Patanjali has given a wonderful remedy or advice in his Yoga-Shastra in a Sukta as under:
In order to make our mind contented, peaceful and stable, we ought to be friendly with those who are leading a happy life; we ought to take pity and be helpful to those who are in distress; we ought to fee delighted in the company of virtuous and noble people; we ought to ignore those who are sinful and evil-minded and bad in character. These are the four kinds of people found at all the places in this world and the behaviour and conduct as instructed in the above mentioned Sukta is sure to keep your mind at ease and will certainly enhance your reputation and self-confidence.
'A man is known by the company he keeps is a well known adage. Therefore it is not advisable to be friendly with bad and evil people because such a course is fraught with grave dangers of all sorts in life and even our purpose of leading a magnificent life and gentlemanly stature is lost thereby. We should rather try, if possible, to reform such people, of course by hinting indirectly and so sincerely from your heart and soul that may move them for the time being.
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