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Osama classifieds

Here are some recent classified ads Osama bin Laden took out in Afghanistan newspapers.

For Sale: Huge cave, ventilated, isolated for privacy, rock solid. More ventilation is added daily due to heavy bombardment. Free ear plugs included! Call 1-800-BIG-BANG.

For Sale: Terrorist training course. Learn from my mistakes. Includes my exclusive list of countries you shouldn't mess with, they get really mad! Damn cowboys. Call 1-800-IMA-DOPE.

For Sale: Wives, variety of ages. Looks unimportant, lovely burqas! Reason for selling: they can't run fast. Call 1-800-SLO-LADY.

Wanted: Tank repairman. Must have own tools and be able to work without missing parts. Location: a little here, a little there, little pieces everywhere. Call 1-800-BLO-MEUP

Wanted: Emotional counseling for misunderstood former terrorist with delusions and Severely depressed, they say "even my mother doesn't love me." Call 1-800-WOE-ISME.

 

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